I survived another five years. With each year my dreams are slowly dying, my happiness stays as flickers, ever fleeting, and future gets bleaker and too confusing.
Life has taken many things from me, to the point of me slowly accepting that maybe there's nothing I actually own to begin with. I've slowly lost things that are dear to me that I begin to wonder if I was brought by to life only to suffer. Was that the whole deal? Was I born just to slowly got robbed away of things I hold dear, silently suffering and grieving for each of them?
I wished for many things, mostly to turn back time. But of course, quantum physics said it's impossible for time is singular and always exist singularly, therefore there's no such thing as past, present, and future.
What I can do though, is sailing blissfully on this patchy, broken raft that just won't give up, until it sinks me to the abyss one day. Some day. And sadly, not today.
I'm sorry I always fail you.
I'm sorry I ruined everything.
I'm sorry I'm not strong enough to chase our dreams.
I'm sorry I ruin our body and soul.
I'm sorry I got us lost too far we can never return.
I'm sorry it has come to this.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
Forgive me.
